What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

After a few moments he returns.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Has any man licked his wife's vagina while another man had sex with her?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

{RING} {RING}

Potential measles exposure in Bernalillo, Sandoval and Santa Fe counties - KOAT

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

What are scads fish? What types are there?

HELLO

Sure no problem officer.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Are LGBT people accepted in Japan?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Why does Christianity push reconciliation after a partner cheats? Mine had a 7-year affair with someone half my age. He cheated and lied. He is not the same to me.

Yes sir it is.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?